A Close Call

Search Albie’s house from top to bottom: that was what Bernie said, but for some reason we went the other way, starting in the basement. I’d never been in any basement at all like Albie’s: it was more like the floor of a casino, with slot machines, roulette wheels – on my last trip to a casino, this was on the Nuggets Bolliterri case, I hadn’t known there were rules about not putting your front paws on the roulette wheel while it was spinning, so if I ever get to go to a casino again, I guarantee that won’t happen, if guarantee means being pretty sure – card tables, dice, plus a long bar. We went behind the bar, through a door and into a kitchen. Bernie started opening things – cupboards, fridges, drawers.

“Smell anything, big guy?”

Sure I did! Lots of cooking had gone on here, plus there was a mouse on the loose.

Bernie approached a freezer. We used to have one on Mesquite Road, but Leda took it when she left. “I’m getting a funny intuition,” Bernie said. Uh-oh. I wasn’t sure what an intuition was, but when Bernie got them bad things sometimes happened after, such as Hawaiian pants, and – hey! – tin futures! I almost forgot about tin futures! They’d come very close to leaving my mind forever. Whew! That was a close call.

Bernie stepped forward and raised the top of the freezer.


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This entry was posted on Monday, June 14th, 2010 at 9:26 am and is filed under Chet The Dog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

74 Responses to “A Close Call”

  1. B. Stover
    4:34 am on June 14th, 2010

    Chet, you are so funny…and fun! I'd love to see you in a casino. And those things you nearly forgot about, please go ahead and forget them.

  2. B. Stover
    4:37 am on June 14th, 2010

    I knew something was different: We have the TFAT cover as background! Great.

    Freezers….mystery buffs know what that means…usually…. Pondering.

  3. B. Stover
    4:49 am on June 14th, 2010

    I'm impressed by this multilingual crew. I think that Rio should use "schnauben" rather than "snort" from now on.

  4. Sam
    4:53 am on June 14th, 2010

    I had trouble with my German last night – I see I forgot to capitalize Geld. All those capitals are problematic; (note semicolon) shouldn't the Germans just massacre their language like Americans do? Maybe we all speak Esperanto?

  5. Riö - The Evil
    5:20 am on June 14th, 2010

    Sniff!….Well, today is the day someone has been dreading very much….schnauben!… She is going to leave soon to go to her Aunt Barbs funeral….sob!…I think I will go lie in my bed and wait for her to come home…sniff!… I know she will need some puggish comfort later… wheeze!…Please try and figure out who is in the freezer…grunt!

  6. B. Stover
    5:21 am on June 14th, 2010

    Rio: Here is a NYTimes article and interview with the creator of Breaking Bad.


  7. dawson
    5:41 am on June 14th, 2010


    B. Stover: I had to google the work schnauben which gave me a choice of several German sites. About the 4th choice was a video with the words immer Naze putzen that sounded good. Ugh! How disgusting!I may've lost my lunch if I'd eaten yet. Don't go there! Must go blow my nose. Neti pot needed.

    Sam: Esperanto is very interesting and I'm impressed by the semicolon.

    Freezers are interesting? Hopefully, not disgusting.

  8. B. Stover
    5:43 am on June 14th, 2010

    Rio: Please tell your friend that I am very sorry about her aunt. It's good that she has you there for comfort.

  9. B. Stover
    5:54 am on June 14th, 2010

    Sam: I wonder why Esperanto didn't catch on…..Dawson, you're making me laugh.

    The freezer: Psychologically, a killer would freeze his victim because he wants to keep the body. That could mean it's Astrid inside. However, Albie now seems to be missing. This "tense moment" is lasting a very long time.

  10. Barb & Maggie
    5:57 am on June 14th, 2010

    Condolences to you Rio and to your friend. She will need pug kisses when she gets back.

    You guys lost me with all the German last night. Didn't understand a word of it.

    Boy, Mom was excited when she read about the you-know-whats in this morning's post. We are also anxious to see what C&B find in the freezer.

    Didn't see a post from Melanie. Hope all is well with the little ones.

  11. dawson
    6:30 am on June 14th, 2010

    Rio and friend: Many tears shed while saying your final goodbyes. Many wonderful memories to keep with you forever. My sympathies.

    Our town had a tragedy last week when five young folks had a car accident. Two dead girls 15 and 16 years old. Amazing there were any survivors. Unfortunately drugs and/or alcohol were involved.

    The town is in shock and mourning.

    It's one of those perfect (for me) weather days. The sun is shining, a breeze is blowing, not too hot or cold. I'm going outside to play in the dirt after having a look at the puppies on Melanie's site to cheer me up.

  12. Sam
    8:09 am on June 14th, 2010

    Rio, our condolences for your friend's aunt. I'm sure this is a difficult day for you both and that you will be a big comfort to your friend.

  13. dawson
    8:42 am on June 14th, 2010

    I'm worrying about Wolfie Wigglebutt of the Wild, Wild West? Did he say they were going somewhere? Haven't heard from him in several days.

    Also haven't heard from Melanie today and nothing new on her site. Lord of all creatures keep my blog family safe from harm.

  14. Barb & Maggie
    8:58 am on June 14th, 2010

    Dawson, All that you said. The MagPie

  15. dawson
    9:02 am on June 14th, 2010

    Gee, what a worry-wart downer I am today. I must think of the reasons that life "doesn't get any better than this".

    The first two roses bloomed today. I picked them for their lovely fragrance and put them in the bathroom.

    B.Stover is eating banana nut bread.

    Rio is having a nap and dreaming of the days when he had teeth.

    Sam's hair is growing longer. She is looking like a real princess.

    Molly-pop is ordering toys with someone else's credit card.

    Siber H. is having a nap and dreaming of coming in first in the Iditarod.

    Alice is thinking of…well, I never do know what fantastic things Alice is thinking.

    And all the rest of our blog family is out enjoying the day.

    Thanks for the sun and wind and the poodles next door watching me dig holes in the dirt.

  16. Melanie
    9:19 am on June 14th, 2010

    Riö, sorry to hear about your friend being sad. Pug kisses are the best. (Don't let the Pack see that I wrote that.)

    Everyone is fine. I had to take Dan in for blood tests and seeing it's down the hills it takes all day. Back now, after a nap for pups and me, I will take a picture of Mr. Greedy Guts.

    I'm hoping that Wölfie is having fun with his boys.

    Time to nap now!

  17. dawson
    9:26 am on June 14th, 2010

    Melanie! You certainly deserve a nap. I hope you can get one without the little guys waking you.

  18. B. Stover
    9:36 am on June 14th, 2010

    Dawson: Thank you. I'm glad you have rose blossoms.

    Glad everything is fine with Melanie.

    Wolfie's boys were coming home last week. Hopefully he's having fun with them.

    Because I had to distract myself from the freezer-tense "moment," I looked up the derivation of "snort." Everyone will be interested to know that it is from the Old English word "fnora" (Indo-European root "pneu") meaning "sneezing."

  19. Mollypop
    9:52 am on June 14th, 2010

    Rio and Friend – So sorry to hear about your loss.

    Dawson – Thank you for all of those lovely thoughts. They are wonderful and will stay in my poodle brain.

  20. Siberian Husky
    10:37 am on June 14th, 2010

    Me too, Dawson…Your thoughts brightened my day! I was taking a nap and dreaming of the snow and the Iditarod because mom had to go have a flat tire fixed on my truck. I can't go any errands with her during hot weather.

    We've had roses in this area for two months now. Sounds great till you realize it means we have hot weather for months.

  21. Älice Johnson,
    10:51 am on June 14th, 2010

    ~Hi there Dawson,

    I was out in our garden for about 5 minutes this morning. About 20 mosquitoes dive bombed me. We have had the rainy/cloudy weather for the last week and it seems to have encouraged them.

    How are the buggies up North?

    I think I will get a good crop of green beans this summer. Each summer with good beans is also a summer with 'good' mosquitoes. Drat it all. However I am working on being thankful like you. I am certainly thankful my Root Canal was a whole week ago!

    ~Alice J. is happy to know you don't understand her. Her goal is to be mysterious. (And to have treats) She and Rio are alike that way.

    ~Riö, sending you some love from the Kats. Hope you share it with 'her'. Sorry about the sad day.


  22. Barb & Maggie
    10:52 am on June 14th, 2010

    And more reasons life is good: Rain has stopped and I am FREE!

    Baby birdies are gone and I am unthered. I am going to go outside and run like the wind!!!

  23. dawson
    10:53 am on June 14th, 2010

    Hey! How about Barb and Maggie? Barb is probably investing in some you-know-what's and Maggie was thinking about those flattened chickens someone posted a picture of the other day.

  24. dawson
    10:59 am on June 14th, 2010

    Staff: The jury is still out on bugs this year. However, judging by the number of sores on people's arms and legs – it's a banner year for mosquitos.

    I have seen 3 pincher bugs so far. One brought into the house by a cat who seemed to think I would praise her hunting skills. It remains on the living room floor covered by a glass.

  25. Siberian Husky
    11:29 am on June 14th, 2010

    Rio and his best friend, you guys have had a rough day. I'm sorry for your loss. Be good to yourselves and each other on a day like today. Husky hugs and kisses to both of you.

  26. B. Stover
    11:40 am on June 14th, 2010

    I didn't know what "pincher bugs" were so looked it up. Earwigs. I love the name but the "old wives tale" (according to Wikipedia) about them going in the ear to the brain and laying eggs is gross. "Earwig fossils have been found dating back 208 million years" (also according to Wikipedia).

  27. Siberian Husky
    11:43 am on June 14th, 2010

    I am glad you have been liberated, Maggie.

    No mosquitos here yet…no rain either. The smoke from the forest fires burning in the state was backed up against the mountains this morning.

    Surely, the obvious is not going to be in the freezer that Chet and Bernie found. Chet smelled a mouse. No cats in the house or female Siberians. The mouse would be a gonner if there were.

    It's okay, Chet…You can forget about you know what. I'm trying very hard to myself.

  28. Lexi
    12:00 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Okay, you guys wanna know what I don't get? Who takes a freezer when they're leaving their spouse? I mean-no offense, Chet-but Leda may have some problems.

    And, is Bernie hungry or something? Why is he lifting the freezer? And, Chet, what gave you the idea to put your paw on that spinning wheel thingy? It's supposed to keep going and stop on it's own-did you know that? Oh, Chet.

    And it's okay. I forget a lot of things in my time. Like, the one time I forgot to 'go' on my walk-met up with Sasha and we ran around in the tennis court-and ended up going at home. I got yells, and the occasional, "You're an idiot!" from Megan. So, it's okay. We all have our moments. Haha.

    Tailwags and licks. Lexi-a forgetful puppy.

  29. Lexi
    12:05 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Has there been some changes on the site, or am I just imagining this all?

    Tailwags and licks-again. Lexi-a curious puppy.

  30. Melanie
    12:07 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Whew, I'll read the all of your postings again when I'm more awake.

    BUT, earwigs are GROSS! (I also looked it up, B. Stover) Yuck. We do get those.

    As promised!!!

    Mr. Greedy Guts!

    [img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1276549529-IMG_0852.JPG[/img]

  31. Siberian Husky
    12:23 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Thanks, Melanie…He is totally adorable and cute. I still think he is going to be a BIG one.

  32. Barb & Maggie
    12:29 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Mr GG is sure cute. We are so glad the suck-face worked. We have earwigs here, too. There are tons of them in the mailbox by the road. Sometimes for a special treat, Mom tries to sweep some into a container, because guess who loves to eat them like candy? You are right if you guessed the Chickens. Mom says their egg yolks are richer if they get bugs and grass. Who knew?

    Personally, I think they would be better flattened on the grill, but Mom does not eat them – she says they are just for eggs.

  33. Lexi
    12:32 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Melanie: Mr. GG is SO cute! How are the rest doing?

  34. Barb & Maggie
    12:50 pm on June 14th, 2010

    I have an idea. Why don't all of you send your earwigs to Mom and then she can feed them to her chickens. Maybe she could even freeze them into blocks in ice cube trays, and take them out for special frozen treats. Doesn't that sound yummy?

  35. Melanie
    12:50 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Lexi, everyone is doing well. We are having to take them from two crews to three crews of four pups each. Grace has enough milk; this is just to make sure that everyone is eating well.

  36. B. Stover
    1:02 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Lexi: As I posted this morning, we have the cover of TFAT for background on the blog.

    The new book is below also.

  37. Riö - The Evil
    1:11 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Hey!… She came home and she is holding up pretty well considering. ….snort!… I told her all you guys had sent your condolences and well wishes and she is so very grateful to all of you for being so considerate and nice….grunt!… I guess the water works didn’t really break until the photos she had taken of Aunt Barb a few weeks ago appeared on the big screen in a video… sniff!… But she will remember all the good times, all the fun and hilarious card games and all of the thousands of dinners around Aunt Barbs kitchen table…sniff!… She will especially remember all of the special and important talks they had together…snuff!

    Stover!… We are really looking forward to reading that article you found about Breaking Bad!….Schnauben!… Right now we are watching the very last episode of season three. … grunt! … It seems to be taking her mind off other things….sniff! … I’m as close as I can be to her before I actually climb into her lap, but she says I make her legs fall asleep, so I will refrain from getting on the lap… wheeze!

  38. Riö - The Evil
    1:40 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Wow!… Greedy Guts doesn’t know how much love and effort went into saving his soon-to-be fat ass!… heh!… Now I can look for the turquoise yarn and know its Greedy Guts…snort!.. Mel, he’s not the same pup who went unfed the other day is he??? Maybe that explains his gluttonous ways…hmmm.

    Peanut!…Does everyone know that Peanut is at the top of the page sharing the blog with us these days???… snort!… That was what Stover was pointing out earlier. I just now noticed it myself…heh!

  39. Debbie LM
    1:52 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Rio. You are just a sweet cuddly bunny beneath that gruff exterior. We all know you are providing the special comfort that your friend needs. You members of the nation within the nation provide us 2 legged creatures so much love. Thank you all! And hugs and prayers for her Aunt Barb – clearly a very special person.

    Melanie: Mr Greedy Guts looks exhausted from his ordeal (or is it that he is just finally full?)

    Chet – forget about the tin futures. Goodness knows we all try to forget them!

  40. Barb & Maggie
    2:17 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Almost everyone is trying to forget those tin futures. There are a rare few who love them!

  41. dawson
    2:32 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Earwigs! No. What we call pincher bugs up here are a hard shelled beetle like a pine sawyer, from an inch to 2 inches long not counting their inch long antennas. They fly clumsily like june bugs and have mandibles with which they can bite you.

  42. Riö - The Evil
    2:32 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Our Future!… I think that every time those things are mentioned it just brings us closer to a series on the ‘unmentionables’ ….snort!… Please, everyone, stop from thinking or mentioning the ‘unmentionables’… wheeze!please!… ‘He’ may forget about them again…shhhh!

  43. Riö - The Evil
    2:42 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Dawson!….Am I doomed to post at the same time as every single one of you here on this blog??…Schnauben?… Schlechte blog fluchen, weg sein! …ahhh!

  44. B. Stover
    3:06 pm on June 14th, 2010

    I looked up pine sawyers. They look like creepy crawlers.

    I'm watching Lie to Me.

  45. Riö - The Evil
    3:26 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Ooooer!… I had a feeling you liked that show Stover!…snort!… Is this the first one of the season? Thanks for reminding us!…. cough!…We love Tim Roth!… wow!… He is great in this show and all his tips about lying come in handy at times…heh!…It will start in half an hour our time..whew!

  46. Wölfie Wigglebu
    3:27 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Hi everyone, it's me, Wolfie. Mom and Dad picked up my boys, and it is great to have them home again. But apparently there is going to be a Period of Adjustment, because things aren't going real swell right now.

    Mom took the computer so I haven't been able to log in for DAYS!

    Gosh, I missed everyone! I still need to go back and read all the comments, but I wanted to say Hi first!

    PS Rio, Tell your friend that I am sorry for her loss.

  47. Siberian Husky
    3:34 pm on June 14th, 2010

    We missed you Wolfie and it is good to have you back with us. You and your family were in our thoughts and still are. Everything will work out…keep the faith!!

  48. Melanie
    3:36 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Wölfie's BACK!!

    Good luck with your boys.

  49. B. Stover
    3:36 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Good to hear from you Wolfie.

    Rio: This is the second episode in this series. I didn't see it last week but I think it's available online.

  50. Sam
    3:47 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Rio, you always make me laff, but you're even funnier in German.

    Wolfer, I missed you.

  51. Riö - The Evil
    4:06 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Lies!…. Its on again! Wooo!…snort!… Lie To Me! And the lovely Tim Roth is back …heh!…Stover thank you thank you! We would have missed it again if not for you my dear!…sniff!

  52. Riö - The Evil
    4:10 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Sammie!… I’m glad I can make you smile… heh!… Albiet, sometimes at your own expense, sorry about that! ..grunt!… You know that I adore you, miss Sammie!…sniff!

  53. Lexi
    4:12 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Who names their elephant Peanut? But-wait-elephants eat peanuts, right? Well, I wouldn't know. I'm only a pup. But, if elephants really DO eat peanuts, did they just name the elephant Peanut because it eats peanuts? Look at me-I eat meat, but you won't see me naming my kids Meat.

    It's a confusing world that we live in.

    We missed ya, Wolfie!!!

    Tailwags and licks. Lexi-a pup with a headache.

  54. B. Stover
    4:36 pm on June 14th, 2010

    I didn't really understand the last ten minutes or so of Lie to Me.

  55. staff
    4:38 pm on June 14th, 2010


    I looked up pincher bugs and I looked up pine sawyer bugs too. I like to look them up on google images so I can see what they look like. Earwigs bite but pine sawyers don't. Neither one of them looks like one I want to meet.

    Fascinating lot of bug sites out there. Who knew there were that many. ISH!

  56. Riö - The Evil
    4:44 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Peanut!…I myself have Never seen an Elephant eat peanuts…snort!… Then again, we never go to see the Circus… cough!…The only circus my friend has ever been to is ‘Cirque du Soleil’ ….grunt!…She would never be caught dead or alive in a circus with trained and caged animals…sniffle

  57. Riö - The Evil
    4:54 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Stover!… I am trying to understand…sneeze!… but its just not clicking here either…snort!….We have a few more minutes left…..

  58. Riö - The Evil
    5:24 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Grunt!….Elephants are vegetarians and eat a lot of hay per day, the also like grains, fruits and veggies, but NO PEANUTS!…snort!…They do enjoy pumpkins and watermelons and they drink a lot of water per day (gallons!)…wheeze!….So I, along with Lexi, wonder where the name ‘Peanut’ came from for this main character in the next book!?… Another mystery for the Blog Team to solve!…heh!

  59. Riö - The Evil
    5:30 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Head-Aches!… Lexi, I hope you are not cursed with those bad migraine headaches! … snort!… I myself, do not get headaches, and if I do occasionally, I know I am really coming down with something bad… ack!… I hope you feel better soon, little one….sniff!

  60. Älice Johnson
    5:36 pm on June 14th, 2010


    Tomorrow, game one Twins vs Rockies. Oooo the tension! And I will be quilting all evening. Won't know what is going on until I get back after 9 pm (central)

    The game should be over by then.

    Anticipation 🙂

    Looking forward to a good game, whoever wins. But I hope it is the Twinkies!


  61. dawson
    5:50 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Wolfie! We missed you. Periods of Adjustment can be tough. We're all behind you.

    Melanie: Greedy Guts is very good-looking.

    Staff: I shall have to research my insects. This pincher bug flies and bites; you only see it when it is hot and sunny. I know earwigs; they like dark and damp and used to get in my sheets and towels hung on the line in Montana.

    Maggie and Barb: I don't like earwigs but if I had to eat them I would flatten them, fry them in butter and season to taste. Crunchy!

  62. Älice Johnson
    5:59 pm on June 14th, 2010


    I can't believe you typed that.

    (crunchy indeed)

  63. dawson
    6:04 pm on June 14th, 2010

    I imagine they taste kinda like chicken.

  64. Älice Johnson
    6:25 pm on June 14th, 2010

    heh heh heh,

    I 'imagine' they DON'T

  65. Älice Johnson
    6:29 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Well, giving you the benefit of the doubt, maybe they might taste like chicken 'nuggets'. Whatever the H. those are. As long as you breaded them.

  66. Riö - The Evil
    6:33 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Alice!!..Twinkies!…heh! Really?…I am looking forward to this first match up very much and I wlll Not be Quilting during the whole first game… snort!… No! I will be Clapping! …dammit!…Clapping as if my very life depended on it!… Grunt n’Schauben! …. That’s what I will be doing tomorrow night! Alice!… so there!… Your needlework will never compare to That! …heh!

  67. Barb & Maggie
    6:38 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Do you think that if Mom's chickens eat them, then their eggs taste like earwigs? Also, anything fried in butter has to taste good.

  68. Riö - The Evil
    6:48 pm on June 14th, 2010

    MagPie!… I have tried very hard ever since I read where your chickens, (or any other chickens) like to eat those nasty things, to forget about it all together… snort!…But here you are bringing it up again…wheeze!… We will be tossing our eggs in the trash tomorrow first thing… gag!mee!

  69. Älice Johnson
    6:50 pm on June 14th, 2010

    OOOO Riö,

    Now you have challenged me! My needlework can never compare!??! OOOOOOOO!

    [img ]http://chetthedog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/1276573804-3dogs.jpg[/img]

    Take that!

  70. Riö - The Evil
    7:00 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Hey!…Quilt Three Dogs and You are OUT Alice!…heh!heh!..snort!

    Schnauben!… Gute Nacht alle!… Vielleicht Morgen erfahren wir vom Körper im Gefrierschrank! … Schnauben!


    [Snort!…Good night all!…Maybe tomorrow we find out about the body in the freezer!…]

  71. Barb & Maggie
    7:15 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Love the quilt, and Rio, didn't understand anything other than Gute Nacht. So, Good Night all. Does anyone want Mom to send some eggs?

  72. Älice Johnson
    7:41 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Good night Rio,

    Sleep well friend,

    Hope all that German means you are feeling good tonight.

    Alice and Abbie

  73. Riö - The Evil Pug
    8:46 pm on June 14th, 2010

    Hey! … Wolfie is back!…snort!… Thanks for your kind thoughts Mr. Wigglebutt…grunt!…We do appreciate them.

    Stover!…How could I have missed the first episode of Lie to Me!??… snort! … I have waited sooo very long for this show to start up again…grunt!… I think its because I usually watch shows from On Demand when I have time (or could it be I am always watching my Rockies??)….hmmm!…Well sacrifices must be made at times…sniff!

  74. Bed Bugs Extermination
    1:50 pm on January 19th, 2011

    Don’t let the bed bugs bite, that’s an old timer saying coming from days past, but now it’s real once more why?

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