Archive for the ‘Chet The Dog’ Category

Tender Is The Bite (More)


January 23rd, 2021 Posted 8:00 am

Mrs. Publicist: Tender Is the Bite, the next Chet and Bernie, comes out July 6, unless it moves to June for Covid related reasons (and preorderable from all the usual outlets right this very minute). Did someone mention it was about ferrets and politics? Earlier in the week we gave you a scene featuring a ferret named Griffie. How about politics today? To set this up – Chet and Bernie arrive home to find their neighbors, Mr. Parsons and old man Heydrich, hammering lawn signs of opposing colors in their lawns and glaring at each other.


“Oh, god,” Bernie said in a low voice. We went into the house. Normally after a hard day’s work or even not a hard one, like today, we’d grab a drink first thing, bourbon or a beer for Bernie and water for me, but now we lingered by the window, me because he was doing it, and Bernie for reasons of his own. Outside old man Heydrich and Mr. Parsons hammered and glared, hammered and glared. Then from the Parsons’ house came Iggy’s amazingly high pitched yip-yip-yip. I trotted over to the side window, and there was Iggy, front paws against the glass of his side window, yipping in fury. I knew exactly what Iggy wanted to do, namely burst out of there and show old man Heydrich what was what, but the Parsons could never get the electric fence working right so these days Iggy stayed inside. Was it up to me as a friend to take care of the old man Heydrich problem? All I had to do was go to the door and Bernie would let me out. I could actually let myself out. Bernie and I had done a lot of work on door opening and I’d finally mastered the round type knob just the other night while Bernie was sleeping. So he didn’t know! Only I knew! What an exciting feeling! I started forming plans for old man Heydrich, but before they took shape Bernie backed away from the window, shook his head and said, “Politics, Chet. And the election’s not for a whole year.”

Politics? A new one on me. Was politics the glaring and hammering or the yip-yip-yipping? Or possibly all at once? Glaring, hammering, yip-yip-yipping? Politics sounded alarming. I hurried into the kitchen and lapped up all the water in my bowl.


Looney Tunes


January 22nd, 2021 Posted 8:12 am

At one time we knew Chuck Jones a little bit. Thought of him when we wrote this passage from Of Mutts And Men, the most recent Chet and Bernie novel (in a series that can be read in any order):

Whatever was coming next – sure to be brilliant, since Bernie’s always the smartest human in the room – remained unsaid, because at that moment the perp reached the edge of the roof and just kept going. Yes, with his legs churning in the air, high over the alley separating this warehouse from the next one! This was something I’d seen in cartoons – of which Bernie and I had watched many in the period after his divorce from Leda – but never in real life. Nothing beats real life, amigo.


Tender Is The Bite


January 21st, 2021 Posted 8:15 am

Mrs. Publicist: Tender Is the Bite, the next Chet and Bernie, comes out July 6, unless it moves to June for Covid related reasons. How about I corral the writer, Peter Abrahams, (author of the series under his pen name Spencer Quinn) and get the 411 out of him?

Pete: Does anyone say 411 anymore?

Mrs. P: Is that the kind of thing you worry about when you’re writing dialogue?

Pete: Among many others!

Mrs. P: Now, to Tender Is The Bite. Is it true it’s about politics and ferrets?

Pete: That’s one way of looking at it.

Mrs. P: Let’s insert a little sample right here. And for readers out there, Tender Is The Bite is now available for preorder in hardcover and digital versions wherever books are sold.


“That ferret got loose when she was packing the car and she didn’t even stick around to find him.”

Interesting. I wandered off to the trash can enclosure at the side of the building. The plywood door was slightly open, and in the doorway stood Griffie, holding the remains of a pizza slice in his cute little paws. Random pizza slices found here and there are mine as a rule. First I made sure that Griffie would be aware of that from here on in, and then I escorted him nice and gently around to the front.

“The name Mickey Rottoni mean anything to you?” Bernie was saying.

“Nope,” said the landlord. “When it comes to the tenants, I keep my nose – “

Then they were both staring at me, so I never found out about where the landlord kept his nose, which actually seemed to be in the normal place.

“Chet?” said Bernie. “What you got there?”


With Malice Toward None


January 20th, 2021 Posted 8:05 am

Thinking about Lincoln’s dog Fido today. Lincoln loved Fido (Fido as the pre-eminent generic dog name dates from this particular dog) but Mary Todd L. refused to let Fido come to Washington when Lincoln won the presidency. He had photos of Fido taken in Springfield as a comfort for his sons (3 still alive at that point). Fido was still living in Springfield when they brought the body back. He went back to his original home that day and spent time with the mourners.


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