Archive for August, 2012

Chet And Bernie In Action (More): From A Cat Was Involved

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August 27th, 2012 Posted 8:07 am

And meanwhile, up above me, the other dude was circling around Bernie real quick and crablike, throwing punches and landing every one—pop pop pop. Oh, no. Bernie wasn’t a fighter? What a disappointment! The dude must have realized that. He smiled—what nice teeth he had, big for a human—wound up and swung a from-the-heels roundhouse directly at Bernie’s head. That was when Bernie moved, so fast and smooth it was hard to see: he ducked under the dude’s fist, stepped in and belted him bang on the point of his chin. There was a bonecracking thud and the dude’s eyes rolled right up. He keeled over and lay still. Some of those big beautiful teeth fluttered out.

At the same time, my guy was making whimpering noises I didn’t like. I shook my head a bit, sinking my teeth in deeper. Bernie knelt beside me. “Chet? That should do it.”

From A Cat Was Involved, the Chet and Bernie origin story, available for download all over the place. (The price? $.99!)

Welcome Elton, Wellington.

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Chet And Bernie In Bayou Country

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August 26th, 2012 Posted 9:03 am

“Bayou country, big guy,” Bernie said. He sniffed the air. Whoa! How often did that happen? “I think I smell something.” Go on, Bernie, go on. But he did not. There was lots to smell, of course, way too much to go into now, but sometimes in life one certain smell dominates all the others – take that time all the trash haulers in the Valley went on strike – and that was the case here in bayou country. This was a rot domination zone, no question, rot falling down on and rising up through all the other smells out there. Quite pleasant: I liked it here!

R.I.P.: Neil Armstrong

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Chet And Bernie In Action: From A Cat Was Involved

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August 25th, 2012 Posted 9:24 am

“We,” said Bernie, “meaning you, have a little problem here. This particular Audi—yellow with pink interior, the only one in the Valley—happens to belong to a friend. So if you’ll just get it all nicely reassembled we’ll be taking it off your hands.”

The longhaired dude’s mouth opened and closed, opened again. That was a sign of human confusion, something I enjoy seeing from time to time, maybe bad of me. And for sure bad this time, because I was so caught up in my enjoyment that I almost didn’t hear a quiet little sound from behind, the sound an opening toolshed door might make.

I wheeled around real quick and saw the other thicknecked longhaired dude, the gigantic one, charging toward us, a big steel wrench raised high. Bernie started to turn, but too late. The massive dude swung the wrench down, right on the back of Bernie’s—

From A Cat Was Involved, the original e-story now available all over the place for – guess what – $.99!

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First Mention Of Leda And The Swan: From Dog On It

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August 24th, 2012 Posted 7:29 am

I strolled out onto the back patio with my tail high and stiff and had a cooling drink from the little fountain Leda had put in. Water flowed from the mouth of a stone swan. I’d never seen a real swan and was wondering how catchable they might be when I heard Iggy’s bark. Iggy had a high-pitched bark, an irritated-sounding yip-yip-yip. I barked back. There was a brief silence and then he barked again. I barked back. He barked. I barked. He barked. I barked. He barked. We got a good rhythm going, faster and faster. I barked. He barked. I –

A woman cried, “Iggy, for God’s sake, what the hell’s wrong with you?” A door slammed. Iggy was silent. I barked anyway. And what was that? From somewhere far in the distance, came an answering bark, a bark I’d never heard before. It sounded female, although I couldn’t be sure. A silence. And then – yes: she barked. A bark that sent a message, a she-message of the most exciting kind. I barked back. She barked. I barked. She barked. And then: yip yip yip. Iggy was back. He barked. She barked. I barked. He barked. She –

“Chet. What’s all the racket? Let’s get going.”

Bernie had the gate open. I tore past him and hopped into the Porsche, riding shotgun.

– from Dog On It (Pennie’s August Pick at Costco)

Welcome bored-with-TV dude, Cheyenne from NC, Slider (on duty)

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