Archive for August, 2009

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August 26th, 2009 Posted 12:25 pm

Something or other about Admin playing tennis. Tennis is an interesting game – that net turns out to be very jumpable. Might be something about that in Thereby Hangs A Tail. And the balls of course are great!


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Posted in Chet The Dog

A Tiny Taste of Blood


August 25th, 2009 Posted 8:52 am

Suzie came back. “It’s a blonde with a tiny gun in her hand,” she said. “I think you’d like her.”

“What’s she driving?” Bernie said.

“Audi,” said Suzie. “Tomato red.”

Bernie grabbed the door handle,  jerked the door open, and there was Portia Peters, ex-wife of Kelo, our missing client. The next moment I had her wrist in my mouth and the tiny gun was on the ground. We were a good team, me and Bernie.

“Ow, he’s biting me.”

“I wouldn’t say biting,” Bernie said. “It’s more a clamping thing he does. Chet?”

I let go even though I didn’t really want to. I don’t say no to Bernie.

He pulled Portia inside and closed the door. She took in the sights, namely Freddie Dancer and Trimmer, cuffed and lying on the floor. “You stupid jerks,” she said.

Trimmer raised his head. “Aw, Sis, don’t be that way.”

“Sis?” said Bernie.


A Good Team

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August 24th, 2009 Posted 8:58 am

Another light knock on the front door. At the same time, I smelled the burgers cooking on the patio – maybe cooking a bit too much, but I’m not fussy about things like that. Leda – Bernie’s ex-wife – was a fussy eater. Wow! So interesting to watch her pushing food around her plate, hardly eating any. Later in the kitchen I always made sure none of that food went to waste. Once she saw me eating off her plate and threw it in the trash. A perfectly good plate, and I had it just about clean, so what was that about?

Something to think about later. Right now there was another soft knock at the door. Bernie glanced down at Freddie Dancer and Trimmer, cuffed on the floor. His face got the way it does when he’s having an important thought. Love that look, and it always mean things will work out.

“Suzie?” he said. “Mind popping into the dining room for a second?” We have this dining room – have I mentioned it already? – where no one ever goes. “You should be able to see our visitor form the little window over the sideboard.”

Suzie nodded and left the room. Freddie Dancer and Trimmer twisted their heads around to look. Bernie put his finger across his lips – that human signal meaning not a peep. He also put his foot lightly on on Freddie Dancer’s back. I liked the sight of that, and put one of my paws on Trimmer’s back. We were a good team, me and Bernie.


Something Bernie Says We Should Be Remembering

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August 23rd, 2009 Posted 9:01 am



APRIL 22ND, 2009 POSTED 8:07 AM

“Might as well answer the question,” Bernie said.

“I don’t have to answer your questions,” the blond woman said.

Meaning we’d be playing fetch soon? Or not?

“Kelo’s wife or sister,” Bernie said. “I can probably look it up in a matter of minutes.”

The blond woman’s nostrils widened. I love when humans do that! I do it, too, to get more smells in quicker. Why humans do it is a big puzzle, since they can smell just about nothing.

“Ex-wife,  if you must know,” the blond woman said. “I haven’t had my license changed yet.”

“To what?”

“My birth name – Peters. Portia Peters.”

“And the reason you’re looking for him?”

“He’s got something of mine.”


“I’d prefer not to say. You can’t keep me here.”

Bernie nodded. He’s a great nodder, has lots of nods. I wasn’t sure what this one meant.

“What does that nod mean?” said Portia Peters. Hey! She was maybe turning out to be not so bad after all.

Bernie smiled. He has the nicest smile, if I haven’t pointed that out already. “Why don’t you search the house first?” he said. “That’s what you came for, isn’t it?”

“I think I’ll just leave,” Portia said. “I’d like my gun back.”

Bernie laughed. “We’ll ship it to you.”

“Why are all men jerks?” Portia said. She opened the door and left, slamming it behind her.

Bernie looked at me. “Male jerkiness must have some kind of Darwinian upside – that’s all I can think of off the top of my head. All set for a ride in the car?”

My tail started wagging big time. Was I ever.

Plus: Sunday – Elvis Gospel

Posted in Chet The Dog


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